Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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