i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
