I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
