Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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