That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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