I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's no shave November. This is our time.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize