right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
