A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
