I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
