Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
