I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
