You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I love you. Go after that dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
God, I missed his penis.
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