Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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