At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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