Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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