He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
