It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
