Nicole vs. Life
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
