I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
