I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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