She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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