so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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