i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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