Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
