Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
