I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
