his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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