Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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