dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Yo dont text me then not text me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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