I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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