btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
too bad you live with your parents still
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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