remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
