is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
