no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
