So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
