He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
