dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
