Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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