What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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