her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize