suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
