New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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