from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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