My first STD was from a foam party
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
