How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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