Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
