As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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