Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
