I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
