Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
