He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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