He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
