And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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