I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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