I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
