remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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