I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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