Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We got so high we made milksteak
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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