People in love make me want to vomit
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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