DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize