where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
