I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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