I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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