Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
