Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
